The Unsung Heroes

This post is dedicated to the back-ups to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:

Horseman 5: Excessive Flatulence 

Horseman 6: Marital Strife

Horseman 7: Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Horseman 8: Lupus

Your names may never have made their way into the Good Book, but you were reliable reserves to the Big Four, and I’ll be damned if you couldn’t ride like hell.

In other news, the Countdown to Springtime is underway:

27 Days, 12 Hours, 57 Minutes...

Huzzah! Down with the Groundhog, Huzzah!

That's right, you little bitchass rodent, your time is nearly up!

Happy Valentine's Day, or...

Happy:

Voodoo Doll

Voluptuous Dolphin

Vandalized Doorknob

Vicious Demagogue

Violent Doberman

Vaporous Daybreak

Vaginal Drainage

Voracious Dendrophile

Vicarious Daydream

Vulgar Deviant

Veal Drizzle

Vin Diesel

Viola, Delaware

Vampire Dogs

Modified lyrics of The Star-Spangled Banner replacing every fifth word with "porcupine":

Oh, say can you porcupine by the dawn’s early porcupine?

What so proudly we porcupined at the twilight’s last porcupine?

Whose broad stripes and porcupine stars through the perilous porcupine,

O’er the ramparts we porcupined were so gallantly streaming?

Procupine the rocket’s red glare, porcupine bombs bursting in air

Porcupined proof through the night porcupine our flag was still porcupine

Oh, say does that porcupine-spangled banner yet wave

O’er porcupine land of the free porcupine the home of the porcupine?

Why do I do these things?

Finally, a well-earned pat on the back to Bruins rising superstar David Pastrnak. His recent hat trick against the Canadiens put him back at the top of the league in goals with 41. Keep up the good work, sir!
Hats off to you!

Don't worry.
We'll get those teeth fixed later, buddy!

Give it to me straight, Doc... is it lupus?

Fun facts about Reno, Nevada:

Nicknamed “Biggest Little City in the World”

A mere 22 miles from Lake Tahoe!

Population: approx. 251,000

Birthplace of WSOP star* Jennifer Harman

Home to the Diamondbacks AAA affiliate Reno Aces

Annual rainfall: approx. 7.48 in.

* term "star" used loosely

Words that ought to get more colloquial use:

Gloaming

Somnambulant

Woopie

Chap

Serendipity

Balustrade

Freewheeling

Spooky

In other news…

It’s that crap time of year in sports between the end of the NFL season and the start of Major League Baseball. Brace yourselves for a tough next six weeks. What’s that you say? We still have March Madness to look forward to? Spoiler alert: it’s fixed. 

And, there's no Santa. 

I'm callin' yer bluff, Magnolia