It's the first new post to the Rant since the last sad, drunken entry of March 2014. And it's the start of great things!*
* - highly debatable
Three days into a new job, here are some of the phrases I've heard leave the mouths of co-workers:
"... so that's definitely going to probably happen, I think..."
"It's literally the worst thing ever!"* (referring to a minor glitch in Outlook's email signature settings)
"This is so good I'm literally going to have a heart attack..." (referring to a Farmer Brown's lunch salad)
"You can see that our office actually decreased in production last quarter. So... we need to not do that..."
Keep the wisdom coming, people! We're LITERALLY 60% of the way through the work week! You see the usage there? Is it really that difficult?
(wipes forehead)
Significant life changes I am considering this year:
1) limiting the drinking to one night per week2) traveling out of the country for the first time*
3) starting to wear Hawaiian shirts
4) getting a new pair of eye glasses after 15 years
5) beginning to pronounce the 'a' in "theatre"
6) participating in a local community beautification project
7) eating a plate of mantis shrimp **
*sorry, Canada; one sloppy night in Windsor doesn't qualify. Good times, though.
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| **"Think you can handle it, buddy?" |
Chances that the author will finally begin posting with some regularity: ~57%
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