Hmm, I kind of forgot that I was supposed to keep posting stuff every week or so. Anyway, here is my first blog from Austin. I don't really have anything interesting to say, so here is a letter I wrote to Lorne Michaels earlier this week:

Dear Lorne Michaels,

My name is Bill Sheehan. I am writing to you with a suggestion for the television program Saturday Night Live, possibly the best suggestion of any kind that anyone has ever come up with in history.

I have enjoyed SNL for many, many years. But recently something has been nagging at me: all of the people selected to host the show are celebrities. I understand why you guys do this; however, I think that it’s time for something different. Audiences always expect to see someone familiar hosting, a famous person they’ve watched in movies or television. If you really want to shock them, have someone unknown host. Someone obscure. Someone no one has ever heard of. Imagine the possibilities here. Luckily, I have already thought of the perfect person to do this: me.

By now you probably agree that this obscure host idea is pretty amazing, and possibly even the greatest in television history. But you may ask yourself, why should I let this Bill Sheehan character be the one to break the mold as host on the show? The answer: I’m REALY funny. If you don’t believe me, ask my friend Jim, and he’ll tell you. You can reach him at 978-578-xxxx*. It’s probably best to call between 3 and 4 in the morning eastern time. In his sleep-deprived state he may think there’s some kind of emergency and decide to pick up. If he doesn’t answer right away, just keep calling. You may have to leave a bunch of threatening messages until he calls you back. That’s what I do. Also, if at some point in the conversation he tries to tell you about all the money I supposedly “borrowed” from him and “promised to pay back but never did,” just ignore him.

At any rate, I hope this note makes it to you.

Sincerely,

Bill Sheehan

9801 Stonelake Blvd, Apt 1527

Austin, TX 78759

P.S. Just to show you that I’m not some free-loader trying to use SNL to become famous, I have already taken the time to come up with an idea for a sketch: I host a well-known daytime talk show where guests in serious financial trouble come to me for advice. After beginning to help them solve their financial problems, I make the mistake of turning the conversation romantic and then overtly sexual, hitting on them and causing them to leave in confused dismay. I think Rosario Dawson should probably guest star as one of the people who comes on the talk show.

* - Jim's phone number removed from Blog posting for privacy reasons, but was included in original letter.

Well that's about all I have for now.