No, we certainly are not. Thank you for the reminder, Abby - seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators, drinker of any alcoholic liquid in sight.
So this gluten allergy thing seems to be gathering steam. Every day more people realize they have a serious physical reaction to the consumption of gluten. Although this blog was not initially conceived to be a source of uniformed medical advice, the author has included a surefire test to help you, the reader, determine if you are one of the many afflicted with a severe gluten allergy:
Question 1: After eating a sandwich on white bread, do you...
a) say to yourself, "hey, that was a pretty good sandwich on white bread."
b) wash your meal down with a cold brew
c) shit violently for thirteen hours
d) make another sandwich
An answer of "C" should be cause for mild concern... (awkward pause)... that's probably a good start at any rate.
SUMMARY OF EXPERIENCES FROM THE WEEKEND OF JIM AND NANCY'S WEDDING:
Hours driven: 16.5
Miles traveled: approx. 962
Wrong turns made: several
Species of owls observed: 4
Neckties discarded: 1
Pieces of asparagus eaten: 22
Shots of Bulleit rye consumed: too many
Showers taken: 2
Alright, alright.
"... we're bar folk."
Monday, April 27, 2015
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Well, no...
But, yeah...
It's the first new post to the Rant since the last sad, drunken entry of March 2014. And it's the start of great things!*
* - highly debatable
Three days into a new job, here are some of the phrases I've heard leave the mouths of co-workers:
"... so that's definitely going to probably happen, I think..."
"It's literally the worst thing ever!"* (referring to a minor glitch in Outlook's email signature settings)
"This is so good I'm literally going to have a heart attack..." (referring to a Farmer Brown's lunch salad)
"You can see that our office actually decreased in production last quarter. So... we need to not do that..."
Keep the wisdom coming, people! We're LITERALLY 60% of the way through the work week! You see the usage there? Is it really that difficult?
(wipes forehead)
2) traveling out of the country for the first time*
3) starting to wear Hawaiian shirts
4) getting a new pair of eye glasses after 15 years
5) beginning to pronounce the 'a' in "theatre"
6) participating in a local community beautification project
7) eating a plate of mantis shrimp **
*sorry, Canada; one sloppy night in Windsor doesn't qualify. Good times, though.
Chances that the author will finally begin posting with some regularity: ~57%
It's the first new post to the Rant since the last sad, drunken entry of March 2014. And it's the start of great things!*
* - highly debatable
Three days into a new job, here are some of the phrases I've heard leave the mouths of co-workers:
"... so that's definitely going to probably happen, I think..."
"It's literally the worst thing ever!"* (referring to a minor glitch in Outlook's email signature settings)
"This is so good I'm literally going to have a heart attack..." (referring to a Farmer Brown's lunch salad)
"You can see that our office actually decreased in production last quarter. So... we need to not do that..."
Keep the wisdom coming, people! We're LITERALLY 60% of the way through the work week! You see the usage there? Is it really that difficult?
(wipes forehead)
Significant life changes I am considering this year:
1) limiting the drinking to one night per week2) traveling out of the country for the first time*
3) starting to wear Hawaiian shirts
4) getting a new pair of eye glasses after 15 years
5) beginning to pronounce the 'a' in "theatre"
6) participating in a local community beautification project
7) eating a plate of mantis shrimp **
*sorry, Canada; one sloppy night in Windsor doesn't qualify. Good times, though.
 |
| **"Think you can handle it, buddy?" |
Chances that the author will finally begin posting with some regularity: ~57%
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)