Shit I forgot I started doing this blog again.

6 Interesting things that have happened since the last Blog Post:

1) The company I work for, ProfitFuel, was purchased by Yodle

2) A 17-year-old well-disguised homosexual won American Idol

3) All of my playoff predictions went straight to Hell

4) I finally acquired a "Lovely Day for a Guinness" poster *

5) After being shut down as a result of being breached by hackers, Sony announced plans to relaunch its PlayStation Network in Asia

6) I turned 27. Shit.

* - the generous donor - Natalie

Here is a list of cool CD's I've listened to recently:

At Dawn - My Morning Jacket

Sigh No More - Mumford and Sons

Gish - Smashing Pumpkins (old school)

First Impressions of Earth - The Strokes

Finally, a new segment on the Rant: Rating the Restaurants of the Domain!

In this new portion of the blog, each week (roughly), we will.. uh... rate the restaurants of the Domain. The eateries will be evaluated on a scale of 1 to 10 in the following categories: Food; Drink; Service; Ambience; Specials

Today we begin with North. Let's see how they did.

RESTAURANT #1: NORTH

Food: 9 - excellent Chicken Parmigiana - not too heavily breaded and served in generous portions with a side of spaghetti; the Chopped Chicken Salad had just the right flavor, even if you hate normal salads like I do.

Drink: 8 - solid beer selections and some interesting cocktails, including the fruity and bizarre Blackberry Crush (beware chunks of blackberries).

Service: 7 - have had issues in the past with slow bartenders and the inability to be seated in a desired location outside, but overall not bad.

Ambience: 9 - this place is cool without trying to be cool. A wide-open feel makes it the place to be in warm weather, whether you are inside or outside. Who cares if there are almost no hot waitresses?

Specials: 9 - gets a near-perfect score based solely on the fact that Sierra Nevada goes for $2.50 per bottle from 4 to 6 pm on weekdays. If they'd stretch the duration of Happy Hour I'd be inclined to go higher. Also has some solid $5 appetizers, including a meatball and provolone dish served with toasted bread. Yeah man.

OVERALL SCORE FOR NORTH: 42/50

Probably shouldn't have started with this one. This will be a tough act to follow.

Next week: Kona Grill!

...or Sushi Zushi. I don't know yet.

The end.

After a break that lasted far too long, the blog that one reader called "an unbearably offensive travesty" is finally back!

For the first post in around a year and a half, I wanted to do something special. People write odes to loved ones, friends, family, even in some cases historical figures of great significance. Today I am writing an ode to a porn star. The following is devoted to Ms. Lily Thai:

ODE TO MY FAVORITE PORN STAR

You deserve our admiration for so many reasons, and I will proceed to list but a few.

Your stage name belies your actual ethnicity. Very cunning.

Your acting is fantastic; you take the art of exaggerating pleasure to the next level. We all know you're not really enjoying it that much.

You are committed to your craft. You got breast implants even though your boobs were already really big. They don't even look that different now. That's dedication.

You are from the great city of Austin. You got your start stripping at the Yellow Rose. I've never been there but I hear they have an all-you-can-eat steak and shrimp special for $4.99. Amazing. I'm guessing the quality isn't that great but as long as you don't get sick it's pretty much worth it. I'm not really sure where I was trying to go with this.

You are unselfish, once injuring yourself in an embarrassing, fairly well-documented on-screen accident. Still, you returned to work soon thereafter. You were hurt in the line of duty in your attempt to bring pleasure to others, and we love you for it.

Conclusion of the Ode.

Finally, here are my predictions for the NBA and NHL finals:

NBA: Celtics over Spurs in 7

NHL: Washington over San Jose in 6 *

* - but seriously, does anyone give a shit?