And Now! The United States National Anthem Written in Backwards Pig Latin:

Yawo yasya yacna yayuo yasee

yaby yahte yads'nwa yawylrae yalthgi

yahwta yaso yarpylduo yawe yahdelia

yawta yahte yawts'thgili yaltsa yalggnimae?

Yahweso yarbdao yartsdepi yawdna yarbthgi yatssra

yarhthguo yahte yapsuolire yafthgi

yawre'o yahte yarstrapma yawe yawdehcta

yawere yaso yagyltnala yartsgnimae

Yawdna yahte yar'stekco yarde yalgera

yahte yabsbmo yabgnitsru yawni yawria

yageva yarpfoo yarhthguo yahte yanthgi

yahtta yawruo yalfga yawsa yatslli yahtere

Yawo yasya yadseo yahtta yatsra yapsdelgna

yabrenna yawte yaweva

yawre'o yahte yaldna yawfo yahte yarfee

yawdna yahte yahemo yawfo yahte yarbeva?

Man, Sports Illustrated just isn't the same without Rick Reilly. Alas.

After a successful 2007, the year-end blog reviews have finally come in…

“The second rant is, inexplicably, worse than its predecessor!”
-Anonymous, MA

“…trivial and offensive…”
-Anonymous, IN

“Bill, you don’t even have a job. How can you not find the time to update this thing once a month?”
-Anonymous, MA

“I don’t understand any of this.”
-Anonymous, TX

Let’s keep it up in ’08.

Some wishes for the New Year, 2008:

That the result of the 1982 Big Game between Stanford and California is officially reversed
That use of the phrase “cool beans” comes back in style
That anyone, anyone at all, wins the presidency over Hillary Clinton.
That female tennis players will STOP SCREAMING SO LOUD
That the Bud Light “Dude” advertising campaign is terminated
That someone surgically removes Tim McCarver’s voice box in his sleep
That booze bag Ernie Els wins his first PGA Major Championship since 2002
That the Boston Celtics win their first NBA title since 1986
That the Chicago Cubs come within one out of making the World Series and then choke
That Dave Matthews regains his inspiration
That the United States changes its national bird to the Emperor Penguin
That someone discovers an actual vampire
That throwing up becomes commonly referred to as “going number three”
That people finally stop paying attention to Jessica Simpson

This is all I ask.